It’s Not An Excuse, It’s Reality {Military Monday’s}

Never in a million years did I think I would experience this first hand. I was recently at the doctors office getting my wrist looked at. It has been hurting on and off for several months and I didn’t want to chance it with Rob being gone. The solution the doctor came up with was physical therapy.

When I went to the front desk, the receptionist said that they only did therapy certain days and times. I explained that my husband was deployed and I had a 14 month old son. There were only certain days and times that I could do it. If my availability didn’t fit within their times, I simply wouldn’t be able to do it. I was calm, honest and friendly about it.

She immediately got an attitude and said, “I don’t care about your excuses”. Wait, what?!? I simply stated the reality that I don’t have a ton of flexibility. She managed to “squeeze” me in 3 weeks from that date. I paid for my appointment and left with very few words.

The whole situation really put me in a funk the rest of the day. I had to remind myself that I am doing this on my own. Of course I have the help of my amazing friends and family but for the most part I am doing this on my own. Maintaining the house, paying the bills, keep all the records, taking care of P, trying to get healthier and exploring ways to help generate some income through blogging, Thirty-One, MaryKay and Etsy.

The reality is I may not get something done on time, I may need to cancel last minute or I may simply forgot something. It doesn’t mean I don’t care, I am uninterested or careless. It means I am tired, stressed or sometimes overwhelmed. I have a reason, not an excuse. Most likely, I am wishing at that moment that I didn’t have a reason because that would mean my partner in crime was here and not thousands of miles away.

I am amazed how quickly people forget what it is like to have kids or practice single parenting (even if just for a short time). The whole situation got me thinking, has this happened to any other military spouses or even mothers? How did you handle it?

I am so excited to co-host this weekly link party Caity from DIY Navy Momma. We have known one another for about 18 months, went through our first pregnancies together and both have currently deployed husbands.

I have found such a strong bond and support system within the military spouse community. This will be a fun and exciting way to keep in touch, offer support, and share excitement! I look forward to getting to know everyone and following along in your journey.

Share a new or old post, anything related to the military or military life you have written. Make sure to link the actual post (not just your blog) so it is easier for readers to find! 
Share as many posts as you want each week.
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We welcome giveaways especially if they help fellow military spouses or their families. 
Please include the below button in any posts you link up to help spread the word about our Military Monday Link Party.
Each week we will choose our favorites and showcase them in the next link party.


  1. ape2016 September 4, 2013 at 6:13 pm

    I can completely relate. I am (and always have been) a single mom of 3. My son has autism and various other issues. When I tell people that I can not do something at a certain time, I am serious. There isn’t anyone to watch my son 99% of the time. I have been so ill that a doctor has pushed to have me hospitalized (once with food poisoning and once with pneumonia) and I couldn’t go, because there was no one to watch my children. Instead, I had to appear at their office, every other day for IV antibiotics and fluids and for them to check my status. Most recently, I had a serious problem with one of my shoulders. The pain was excruciating. The regular doctor wanted to prescribe narcotics, I told him no, because I am responsible for 3 kids and I can’t sit around stoned. He was irritated, because I resisted. He sent me to a specialist and he was pushing for PT 3 times a week. I told him that it wouldn’t be possible, because I did not have a vehicle at the time, which meant a long walk with 3 kids to and from the appt at a time when any kind of movement made me grit my teeth and tears come to my eyes. The specialist was even more put out. He actually got angry and wanted to know why I even bothered to show up if I wasn’t going to do what I was told. I told him that while I knew I should go, I couldn’t. And as far as why I showed up, it was just to make sure I didn’t have a torn rotator cuff or heaven forbid, bone cancer or something awful. I asked him for a list of exercises like the ones I would do in therapy anyway(heck, I worked as a nurse and with therapists for years back before motherhood, I could figure this out.) I was polite, practically pleading for understanding and assistance. He stalked out of the exam room and I have never seen him again. He sent the sheet in with a nurse and discharged me as a patient for being non-compliant. I just wish people that have always had help or who don’t have children would just try to be a little more professional and at the very least polite to exhausted and struggling parents.

    1. Mary Meyer September 4, 2013 at 7:28 pm

      Oh my goodness that is horrible. I can’t imagine how hard it is by yourself all the time with 3 children. It just blows my mind especially with medical professionals. You just can’t understand until you are a parent on your own for an extensive amount of time.

  2. Miki September 5, 2013 at 5:03 pm

    People can be so impatient and forget how to be a decent human being sometimes! What happened to compassion? As a mom of three, there have been times when people have been impatient, make comments, etc. but I ignore them. You are courageous in a challenging season – never forget that! Miki

    1. Mary Meyer September 7, 2013 at 10:03 pm

      I need to grow a tougher skin Miki, but I will get there. It was one of those moments where I had to stop and think, “is this really happening”. Oh well, all I can do is keep my cool and show nothing but patience and compassion back. At the end of the day, the only person I answer to is myself.

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